Is it rare to want to go deeper? To want to really get to know other people on a deeper level? To get past the superficial surface relationships & delve into real, personal, honest relationships? If it isn't rare to have the desire, why is it so rare to find other people willing to get real & go deep?
I believe that our life experiences help to form the person we are at any given point in our life. Experiences from our childhood & teenage years are especially formative. I also believe that experiences we saw our parents, or other loved ones go through have an effect on how we relate to others. These previous experiences are generally the reasons why people don't go deeper in most of their relationships; trusting people or letting them "get in" could be illogical. What I mean is, maybe a previous experience, either one of their own or one they saw someone go through, is holding them back from genuinely trusting people. The question then is, how do we reshape our thoughts to allow for more trust in people?
I'm always saying I want people to be real. I'm always longing for deeper relationships with people. I'm always expecting people to let go of the superficial and get real. But am I really ready to do that myself? I haven't experienced any real hurt that would lead to a lack of trust in others, but unfortunately, I have seen deep hurt up close and personal in lives of loved ones. The hurt I saw as a young teenager has created a fear inside of me. I'm afraid to get too close to any one person, for fear they will hurt me. Now there are a few exceptions in my life, my family, my husband, and one friend. There are a couple of friends that are close, but not too close. And still others who may think of me as a close friend, but in my mind, they are more like acquaintances.
Some might say, "Well, you are lucky you have just one good friend in your life." But honestly, isn't life all about relationships? As Christians, shouldn't we long to get past the superficial with other Christians? Why is it I feel like most of my superficial relationships are in Christians circles? Others may say, "Well you can't be best friends with everyone!" To that I say, you're right, but I think most people say that because they don't want to let down their walls either. I believe that statement to be an excuse for people, a sort of justification of their own behaviors.
I don't really know why I'm putting this out into the blogosphere, but I am. I really just wonder how many other people are afraid of getting hurt by someone? I didn't really know that I was, but I must be; I know I don't let people in too easily. Aren't we all just wandering the world, longing for human connections? Aren't we all just longing for deeper relationships?