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3.01.2010

Let me be real...

     One of my biggest dislikes, or really hates, is when people are fake.  I crave authenticity in others.  If I think people are not be real with me, I will probably eventually shut them out.  This isn't a good habit and it's not something I'm proud of, but it's true.  I feel if I want people to be real with me, I should be real too.  So this post is coming from a totally honest place.  I'm not sure why I'm putting it out in the blogosphere, but I am.
     Doing self reflection is something I seem to do often.  I feel as a mature Christian adult, it is something I should do often.  Well, I recently came to the realization that I am quite cynical of people.  Most of the cynicism is directed at other Christians.  I don't necessarily like this quality, but I don't know how to really change it either.  The only answer I know right now is to pray.
     After doing even more reflection, I realized that this cynicism wasn't always a quality of mine.  It seems to be something that has formed over time.  I noticed that as a pre-teen & teen I was more judgmental of other Christians.  Again, another trait of mine I'm not really proud of.  I wonder if the two are sort of related?  Is it a natural progression to be somewhat judgmental and then eventually turn that into cynicism?
     Here are the definitions of the two: Judgmental = Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones.   Cynical = Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others; feeling of distrust.
     Again, not sure why I am posting this on here.  I just know I need to be real with people.  Not sure if people read this or not.  I hope & pray that over time, with God's help, I can change my cynicism into hope of what Christ can do & will do through those around me.  As for now, I'm trying....

2 comments:

Dan said...

Cynicism is something I think most serious believers will go through. And, I don't think it has any easy answers; it's a struggle to get through. But, I think it can lead to a healthy "realism" where our expectations of others are much more in line with what is, well, realistic.

I think cynicism for me comes from being disappointed in people. But, along that same line, when did I start expecting people to not act like people? I've come to realize that people act the way they do for a lot of reasons; a lot of them really good reasons. Doesn't always make their actions right - but it does make them more understandable.

Stephanie said...

It's really hard for me not to be cynical. I'm trying, but it seems to creep in often. At least I can identify it now. That's a step in the right direction, right?