One of my biggest dislikes, or really hates, is when people are fake. I crave authenticity in others. If I think people are not be real with me, I will probably eventually shut them out. This isn't a good habit and it's not something I'm proud of, but it's true. I feel if I want people to be real with me, I should be real too. So this post is coming from a totally honest place. I'm not sure why I'm putting it out in the blogosphere, but I am.
Doing self reflection is something I seem to do often. I feel as a mature Christian adult, it is something I should do often. Well, I recently came to the realization that I am quite cynical of people. Most of the cynicism is directed at other Christians. I don't necessarily like this quality, but I don't know how to really change it either. The only answer I know right now is to pray.
After doing even more reflection, I realized that this cynicism wasn't always a quality of mine. It seems to be something that has formed over time. I noticed that as a pre-teen & teen I was more judgmental of other Christians. Again, another trait of mine I'm not really proud of. I wonder if the two are sort of related? Is it a natural progression to be somewhat judgmental and then eventually turn that into cynicism?
Here are the definitions of the two: Judgmental = Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones. Cynical = Believing or showing the belief that people are motivated chiefly by base or selfish concerns; skeptical of the motives of others; feeling of distrust.
Again, not sure why I am posting this on here. I just know I need to be real with people. Not sure if people read this or not. I hope & pray that over time, with God's help, I can change my cynicism into hope of what Christ can do & will do through those around me. As for now, I'm trying....